Before my returning home this winter holiday, I accompanied my roommate whose last exam was on the last day of the examination week while all the other roommates had left. Those days, she was stuck in deep depression, not for the exams, but for her best male friend had recently become intimate with a girl that she didn’t like, and what’s more, he seemed to ignore her feeling and even her existence.

I didn’t know how to comfort her, the only thing I could do was to distract her attention to some joyful things and calm her down when she felt crazy about this mess. I knew that she had no romantic feeling for the boy, but girl’s desire to possess made her quite desperate about the change of the boy who she valued so much.

Looking at her sadness, I felt complicated. When we were little girls, there was no difference between boy friend and girl friend, but gradually we grow up, things become quite different. We have to properly handle the special relationship with male friends, and what’s more important, to bear in mind they’re different form boyfriend in order not to have vague relationship with them.

I’ve long wondered why many girls are longing to have boyfriend until one day I watched Hillary and Jackie. When Jackie asked Hillary why she wanted to accept Cheever’s proposal, Hillary said “Because he makes me feel special.” And another day when I was chatting with an old friend Z who was still single, she told me about her recent meeting with a pair of lovers. During their dinner, she watched how considerately the boy took care of the girl. At that time, Z said she really envied

the girl, for she was never cared by someone like that besides family members. I think that’s the answer that I longed to find. We girls are always trying to find someone that can make us feel special and regard us as his apple of eyes no matter how ordinary we are. And I finally understand why without a second thought I turned down the boy who expressed his feeling towards me when I really felt lonely--It’s because he said he liked that kind of girl as me. I wanted to feel special, not being classified into “some kind or some type”.

Male friends are also important to me, but I would never develop my best male friends into boyfriend like many other girls do, for once I regard someone as my best friends, the gap has been formed and I would never cross it. But it maybe the most difficult thing to maintain the relationship between you and your best male friends who have girlfriend, for the proper distance have to be take, on one hand you have to keep in touch with your friend, on the other hand you have to make sure his girl friend wouldn’t feel uneasy about you. As one of my friend said, once her best make friend has a girlfriend, she chooses to walk away in order not to cause contradiction between them. Though I felt it may be a pity to do so, I have to agree it’s good for assuring both of them would be happy.

I always try to find a proper English word which could express exactly the same meaning of “Yuan Fen”, but the only thing I could find is the explanation of the word--the lot or luck that brings people together. However, the explanation couldn’t satisfy me, for this special Buddhism word consists of two parts: Yuan means the destined coming across of someone or something; Fen means the chance of staying with each other. Though I’m not a serious Buddhist, I enjoy reading the wisdom of Buddhism and I firmly believe in some Buddhism concepts of fate and life which seem superstition to many people. And I believe in “Yuan Fen”, the magical lot that makes you destined to meet someone or something. Whether boyfriend or male friend, it’s Yuan Fen that brings us together. Boy friend is someone who makes you feel special and safe, someone whom you can hug and kiss, and someone who may later turns out to be the one that will accompany you your whole life. Meanwhile, male friend is someone who you offer mutual help, who you share happiness and sorrow together, and who you have mutual companionship with for a short or long time, but they can never wholly understand you. The distance between you and your boyfriend is surly shorter than that between you and your male friend. You may take your boyfriend as your possession, for at that time he could only have you as his girl, but never could you do so to a male friend who can have bundles of female friends besides you, you are not the only one to him.

And sis, that’s the difference.