2010-05-15 23:54:03 阅读7 评论0 字号:大中小
我同书籍,即将分离。我虽非英雄,颇有垓下之感,即无可奈何。
这些书,都是在全国解放以后,来到我家的。最初零零碎碎,中间成套成批。有的来自京沪,有的来自苏杭。最初,囊中羞涩,也曾交臂相失。中间也曾一掷百金,稍有豪气。总之,时历三十余年,我同他们,可称故旧。
十年浩劫,我自顾不暇,无心也无力顾及它们。但它们辗转多处,经受折磨、潮湿、践踏、撞破,终于还是回来了。失去了一些,我有些惋惜,但也不愿去寻觅它们,因为我失去的东西,比起它们,更多也更重要。
它们回到寒舍以后,我对它们的情感如故。书无分大小、贵贱、古今、新旧,只要是我想保存的,因之也同我共过患难的,一视同仁。洗尘,安置,抚慰,唏嘘,它们大都体味到了。
近几年,又为它们添加了一些新伙伴。当这些新书,进入我的书架,我不再打印章,写名字,只是给它们包裹一层新装,记下到此的岁月。
这是因为,我意识到,我不久就会同它们告别了。我的命运是注定了的。但它们各自的命运,我是不能预知,也不能担保的。
Soon I'll part with my books;I'll have to, the way the ancient hero Xiang Yu parted with his favorite lady Yu Ji at Gaixia.
The books had arrived at my home since 1949, the year the country was liberated. At first they came piecemeal and,later,in set or in bulk,some from Beijing and Shanghai,some from Suzhou and Hangzhou. During the first few years, as I was financially embarrassed, sometimes I had to turn from the books that I would have liked to give everything in exchange for. However, there was occasions on which I threw my money on books with quite a sense of lavish generosity. In short, having kept each other company for over 30 years, I felt lifelong intimacy with them all.
During the ten years of the disastrous " cultural revolution" I was not in the mood to nor was I fit enough to bother about my books,as I was not even sure where I myself would end up. But having been taken from place to place,getting moistened and damaged,tortured and trampled underfoot, they eventually had come back to me. Some of them had got lost, for which I was really sorry, but I thought I would not go and retrieve them,for I had had more to lose in those years adn what I had lost other than the books was far more important.
After their return home I felt about them with the same affection as I did earlier. I treated them alike, whether they were big or small, old or new, expensive or inexpensive, classical or contemporary, since they had been in my collection, therefore, gone through thick and thin with me. I would sign with significance, when I dusted and caressed them and then found a place for them to go to. I guessed they must have sensed how I felt about their return.
During the past couple of years I had found them some new companions. I no longer stamped my seal or wrote my name on them. When I put them on the bookshelves, I only clothed them with a new cover and marked the date of their arrival. This was because I was well aware that it would not be long before I bid farewell to my books; my fate has been predestined. As for what would happen to theirs, I could not foretell, much less could I guarantee.